Strive

I'm striving all right. After all that's what Strava means. Strava being the popular fitness tracking app known to all walks of athletes around the world. I racked up right around 4000 km of running with over 120,000 meters of elevation gain in 2017 and I would be lying if I said it isn't a point of pride for me.

I've been training and improving steadily for about 6 to 7 years and more importantly made some meaningful personal friendships along the way. Yes, I really enjoy the camaraderie with the broader ultra running community, but for me it's more about the few deeper more personal relationships forged out on the trails over many hours and days of running together. Mind you, there are certainly a lot of names on my “people who are awesome and with whom I would love to hang out more if my schedule allowed for it” list.

So everything is great right? I'm thriving! I might have agreed to that even a few short weeks ago. Since then I strained a tendon in my leg which refuses to get better, got fired from a new job I had started less than a week before, contracted the flu and clipped our neighbour's car while parking the other night.

What's that? Suck it up? That's life you're saying? I actually agree. I'm not soliciting pity. I’m happy with my lot in life. Just being at home trying to recuperate has afforded me a chance to reflect on the lessons that life is trying to teach me right now. Now you may or may not believe that there is a lesson to be learned from these kind of life events. For me though lacking the physical strength right now is helping me to slow down and observe what's going on around me.

How did I end up putting so much pride and effort into often marginal athletic gains while at the same time failing to curb my sarcasm towards those around me? How did I end up prioritizing checking my cell phone for umpteenth time to take in some information with little or no relevance to my life over connecting with my wife, kids, friends and family? Why is it so hard for me to let go of this false sense of control over the things around me? Why can I not stop myself for example from interrupting people while they are talking, although I know it to be selfish and inconsiderate and I'm still holding out hope that I have neither of those traits? Why does it elude me to be more gentle, kind and patient more consistently?

I certainly wouldn't agree if you told me that I'm not showing up for my family. I do. In all honesty though there are too many times where they have to make due with what's left of me after exercising, working and doing chores. Now I'm certainly never going to be one to propagate total self-sacrifice of your own needs and interests in order to better be able to take care of those around you. I don't believe that is a sustainable approach to things. I am very fortunate to have a schedule that affords me with ample time to exercise without sacrificing family time. On the flip side it does leave me with less time at home with my family when they are off though. So in that respect it's double sad when despite everybody's best intentions we all end up being zombies on our individual screens and wasting precious opportunities to connect.

Nobody on their deathbed is ever going to say “I wish I checked Facebook / the weather app / the news / Instagram (or whatever else it is that occupies their attention) more frequently”.

I have all the info too. I know the studies. I know that people with stronger, healthier relationships live longer, are happier and tend to have less regrets when they do eventually die. It's not the guy who poured all his heart and soul into coming in 14th instead of 28th in the 2018 Whatcha-ma-call-it 50-miler.

So where does that leave me? Well for starters writing this down has helped me to structure my thoughts and ambitions a bit. I didn't check my phone all morning and instead played a board game and shared some of my (chubby) childhood pictures with my kids. That was a good start I suppose. I'm just a guy circumnavigating the same pitfalls as everybody else.

So many of us including myself are just getting off track by filtering through this perpetual stream of often barely relevant information all the time. It's so often that I notice how reading on a screen makes me really agitated too whereas reading on paper is in fact quite calming. The screen wins mostly on the merits of accessibility I suppose.

I will focus on relationships, not achieving only my own agenda. I will be more present, open, calm and accepting. I will try to practice love and forgiveness towards myself and others. I guess it comes down to trying to be more conscious and present at any given time. Athletic goals can seem hard to achieve but let's face it. Eat, sleep, train and recover well while listening to the signals of your body and Bob's your uncle.

Now this whole wishy-washy personal improvement stuff on the other hand, that's like ninja level tough for real, but you know what? I'll start striving for that a lot more intently. Now if I happen to place in the top 10 in the 2018 Whatcha-ma-call-it 50-miler that would be freaking awesome too, but it's all right if I don't.

Digging deep in the face of mediocrity

As part of revisiting my Gorge Waterfall 50 k race experience I had to concede that my mental fortitude -or lack thereof- might have been the biggest limiting factor to finishing stronger.

It seems to be easier for me to prepare physically for a race than it is to prepare mentally. I usually ask myself on race morning: "How much are you prepared to hurt and suffer today?" I think it is a good question to ask and it prepares you for the fact that there will inevitably be some discomfort involved while trying to race to the best of your abilities. Even if you are mentally prepared though some discomfort will sneak up on you during a race. How do you manage not to be dominated by the pain and exertion though? I suppose you also need to answer the question: "Why should I make myself hurt in the first place?" There are two types of physical discomfort during a race. One is the kind of pain that you are trying to avoid as much as possible such as blisters, bruises, chafing and such. Then there is self-inflicted pain which comes from pushing your limits and racing hard.

Having a time goal can be a good motivator, but this is somewhat tricky to establish a realistic finishing time on an unknown course especially if you are having issues early on in the race. I am not the kind of person to get super competitive with the racers around me either, if I don't know them that is. If I know them, the race is on.

Everybody loves stories about perseverance, but the vast majority of them seem to focus on contenders or champions even if they might be the underdog of the narrative. It's somewhat easy to imagine what drives athletes in these situations: Winning, earning prize money and qualifying for an event or competition among others. What about the rest of us though? The folks in the middle of the pack who punish themselves tremendously to finish 112th instead of 129th? What are we supposed to use for motivation? If you have ever volunteered as a course marshall or at an aid station in a race you might have also noticed that the slower the participants are the more fun they seem to have.

Even though my primary athletic pursuit is trail running, I am an avid reader of Bicycling Magazine. I remember now retired pro cycling veteran Jens Voigt writing about his relationship with pain and discomfort and claiming that he treats pain as his favourite enemy. He relishes the opportunity to get to know and control it better every time he encounters it. It's a great little article and you can just substitute "run" for "ride" as you see fit. The idea is the same. After re-reading the article I am wondering if I spend enough time getting acquainted with physical discomfort in training. Probably not. I am afraid I should though. It's the best thing I can think of in order to prepare for race day. On the plus side: It is generally accepted that training super hard all the time is not what you want to go for for best results as well as for staying injury free.  So luckily I don't have to face my newly crowned favourite enemy every day. Maybe a couple of times a week will suffice.

I re-discovered another article on pain and suffering which delves deeper into the science of things.  I enjoy the reference to former pro cyclist David Zabriskie's habit of adopting a superhero persona in his mind while competing in time trials (and quite successfully at that too). A good portion of the article deals with the thesis that a so called "central governor" in the brain is what determines how hard we can go. This governors' job is to tell us that we cannot possibly go any harder while preserving some reserves in order for us to not collapse on the spot. There are great reserves of strength and stamina to be found if we manage to override the impulse to back off that is sent out by the brain. If you feel motivated now to go out and run or ride yourself to pieces, don't blame it on me though please.

If you still haven't got enough of reading up on the subject, here are three more great articles on pain and perseverance from irunfar.com:

• Peak Performance and The Selfish Brain on irunfar.com
• Cramps and how to deal with them from irunfar.com
• Navigating the pain trail from irunfar.com Part 1/2
• Navigating the pain trail from irunfar.com Part 2/2

I especially like the concept put forth in one of the articles that our brain is like a board of directors which decides on the severity of a threat to our health and well-being and therefore lets us perceive the intensity of our pain signals accordingly.

After taking the time to look at the issue of digging deep, suffering and racing hard a little closer, these shall be my strategies to push myself hard and finish strong in future events:

Re-focus on form. This time I am not talking about the Caballo Blanco mantra of "Think easy, light, smooth, fast". That one works better for training rather than racing for me. Instead I will try to remember to tighten up my form when I start spending too much time in my own head or when I notice that I am getting sloppy.

Steady breathing, relaxed jaw and hands, arms pumping, cadence high, spine straight and long, shoulders back. Check, check, check and check.

As for developing an alter ego or super hero persona for races for myself, I think I will stick with trying to be the best version of myself. This might sound tacky, but I think it really touches on what will keep me going. There are a lot of people that are less fortunate than I am. They might be physically or mentally unable to pursue their passions. I am blessed to be able to run and live my life to the fullest for the time being and feel therefore obliged to not waste this opportunity. My mantra shall therefore be: Be the best you can be, always. This rule is great because it can be adapted to any situation. For example if you are racing hard and moving well, but you come across another athlete who is injured or in distress the logical consequence for me will always be to put my own ambitions on hold and and help out as needed. A good way to figure out what my best self would do is to ask myself how I would hope for my kids to react in the given situation. The idea is to try and see yourself from an onlookers perspective. This will usually help to make it easier to figure out how to act in a given situation.

The other day I happened to notice a runner on the seawall wearing a shirt that read: "Ride hard. Smile often." This reminded me of reading an article about the positive effect that smiling has on the brain. A lot more reading can be done on the subject. Go ahead and google it if you like, but it comes down to what is expressed in this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh:

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

Since my primary athletic pursuit is running my mantra shall henceforth be known to be:

Run hard. Smile often.

I will furthermore try to be aware that goals have to always be re-evaluated or adjusted. If the goal of finishing the race under a goal time fails the event doesn't have to be a write off all together. If that happens I shall not fret, but try to focus on finishing and having fun in the process instead.

Having devised this ingenious strategy I also have to say that racing to ones' full potential in terms of speed might not be for everyone and I respect anyone who emphasizes fun and camaraderie over pushing their limits. As for myself, I will test my boundaries for a little while longer and see how far I can take my fitness or how far my fitness can take me. I also see the need to plan adventure runs and other events and training runs that focus on connecting with fellow runners. As with everything else in life I am striving for the ever elusive balance.

See you out on the trails,

Marc

Accidental Inspiration

The other day on my morning run I bumped into a co-worker on the Quarry Rock trail. We stopped to chat for a few minutes and I remembered that I had just recommended this particular hike to him the previous week after he had told me he had never done it, despite having lived in the neighbourhood in the past. I like to believe that I had a part in him choosing this particular trail or even in inspiring him to get out for a hike at all that morning. As I continued my run I kept wondering about the things that influenced and inspired myself in the past. More often than not it seems that the events and situations that steer us in one direction or another are fairly random. It could be a conversation, an ad in a magazine or the decision of a friend or family member.

Even though inspiration may seem random and accidental at times, I think we do have a great deal of influence on them. It is our responsibility to make ourselves more "accident prone" by exposing ourselves to people and situations that have the potential to inspire us to become better versions of ourselves. We also need to keep an open mind and just take a leap of faith sometimes by trying new things or setting goals that might seem kinda big and scary at first.

The environment I created for myself helps me to stay on track and although I made a lot of conscious adjustments to my lifestyle and my surroundings, more often than not I still find myself being accidentally inspired.

Go out, have fun, have an open mind and get yourself involved in some inspirational accidents.

I am so happy Trail Running and its awesome people found me a few years ago.

Guest Post: Conquering North Shore Trails - beginner's perspective

This is a post written by my wife Angie and her thoughts on running our beautiful North Shore trails. Enjoy the read:

It's always a bit intimidating to get out there into the great unknown. So many reasons not to go for that run, I've tried them all.

But my partner is a serious runner and he offered to take me, so sheepishly I put my shoes on. I've had those "pearly zooms" runners for about a year now, but they still look brand new. Well, I guess it's time to get them a little bit dirty. Oh yeah! It's so happening! No more excuses.

On a trail now and so far so good. I'm keeping up, even hopping over some logs. Hey, I'm running and it feels good! Then the first incline comes, hmm, start feeling my lungs, then the next one. I'm trying real hard, but I'm not moving much. Marc runs circles around me, finally  he starts hiking next to me, as I'm still "running"! That's when you know it's bad, BAD! So I get a little angry:

"You do your fast intervals," I order my significant other, I'm walking this hill...and the next one, and when the trail finally evens out, because it just has to, then I'm gonna break into my stealth mode shuffle: the stride so short and the feet so close to the ground, you'll never know if I'm moving at all!

Made it home somehow. Suffice to say, it was a humbling experience. In my mind I run much faster, and so the reality check was a bit unnerving. And demotivating. Big time.

But then a sunny day came. And a sunny crisp day during wintertime in Vancouver is a treasure. I knew I had to spend it well, and the only way to accomplish that, I felt it in my heart, was to hit any of our rain forest trails and let my feet take me where they may.

Decision time: I'm not a fan of disappearing into the woods alone. Didn't work out so great for Red Riding Hood, why should I push my luck? Oh, but I really wanted to do something brave, and my rain forest guide, aka the owner of this blog, aka my husband had to work that day, so I resolved to go it alone.

The plan: stick to the trails you know, listen to your body. Ten minute climb, some shuffling on an even terrain, then pummel down the hill all the way home and feel good about yourself. Probably won't last longer than 30 minutes, so no need for snacks or water. Will take my cell phone though...because you never know.

OK, on a trail now looking for a turnoff. I know there is another path veering off to the left, but can't find it. I keep going on thinking it's further ahead. Oh, but it's getting steeper. Ten minutes into the run and I'm walking already. And I also realize that I'm way past the turnoff, but I'm just too stubborn to come down. I know I've been on this trail before and I want to find out where it goes.

I get kicked out on a road, which I cross looking for a continuation of my trail on the other side. Hey, there's a sign: Trail Permanently Closed, Do Not Use. I'm sorry, but that's the only trail I can see, so I'm taking it. Doesn't look too bad at all, and after I climb over a big log, I'm all of a sudden on a trail I do know, and I realize that I already did my "big" climb. Hey! Not too shabby. A rush of confidence enters my bloodstream: I can do this, and it will be longer than half an hour!

Once my breathing slows down and I settle into some sort of a rhythm, I finally start enjoying myself. It's almost always like that. Those first 15 to 20 minutes of my runs are always devoted to this tug of war between me and my body:
Body: "What are you doing to me?"
Me: "I want you to run."
Body: "The pace is too fast and terrain is too steep, I'm not trained for that."
Me:"Just do it."
Body:"Sorry, no can do."
Me:"OK, fine, what can you do?"
Body:"Let me get some oxygen in and we can negotiate."
An unspecified period of laboured breathing and not much moving passes.
Me:"How about now?"
Body:"Sure, but next time, don't take this multivitamin on an empty stomach before you go out. I'm gonna make you burp this for the rest of your run."
Me: "Duly noted."

And finally I'm running and it's not just one big discomfort. I'm starting to feel the inklings of joy, and I grasp the potential for happiness that exists in this free, light movement through nature. And there is so much to look at as the sun illuminates the forest: the cedars. the firs, mosses, ferns, bubbling creeks, roots and rocks. Yet at the same time the images before my eyes are so unobtrusive, not demanding my engagement, that it's possible to let the mind wander, well, after some automatic eye to brain to feet communication is established first of course. I relax, it's so peaceful here.

Thirty minutes into the run I take a picture of myself at a trail sign: to prove that I have made it this far, but also to help my husband guide me home in case I get lost on the way back and need directions. I do make it home no problem though. I mean, I trip over a root and barely save myself from falling flat on my face, and once I hit the road close to home, I lose all the grip on the black ice and have to really slow it down to remain upright, but none of this matters. I make it home in one piece, and it's been an hour.

I do a few stretches, because I'm just that motivated, drink some water, and I'm really looking forward to that hot shower. But before even the first drops hit my face, I'm already as happy as can be. Why? Because I "braved" it out there on a crisp wintry day, and that feels mighty fine.

Inspiring the next Generation of Trail Runners ... maybe

My daughter is in 4th grade in elementary school. Her teacher stumbled across this blog and asked me if I would like to come to school and share my passion for trail running with the class and maybe take them out for a little dash through the forest. I happily agreed and then it dawned on me that I should probably be able to share some of the reasons why trail running is awesome and why the children should get into it. The more I thought about my presentation the more I came to realize that the children's reasons for running are vastly different from my own. I personally didn't get seriously into trail running until a few years ago.The kids don't look at running as exercise. It's part of their everyday play along with doing monkey bars, squatting, hiding, bushwhacking, scooting and biking. Too often our adult exercise is highly structured, scheduled and more often then not measured and analyzed. It's the exact opposite of what kids do. Once you take the playful nature of their pursuit out of the equation and turn the run or hike into a structured activity the child's motivation will usually flat line. That's the thing though. If done right trail running can induce the feeling of freedom and playfulness. In essence it should feel like recess. Trail running is my moving meditation at times or my exploration at other times. It's my time to be with myself and work through my everyday issues or just to find the perspective to let go of them. Sometimes it's my time to socialize with friends, explore the mountains or push myself in a competition.

While looking for ways to communicate these feelings I remembered this video featuring Adam Campbell and it really sums up everything I could possibly try to explain to the kids. So I decided to share it along with some personal pictures to hopefully motivate the children to give exercising in nature a second look.

The kids were awesome actually and they were very involved in sharing stories about their favourite places in nature and we found out together that humans are pretty well equipped to run long distances due to the fact that we can cool off by sweating and we have big butts (glutes) to power our strides while running, although these muscles are pretty useless for walking. I would like to tell you that I converted the whole class into nature lovers and explorers, but I am not sure if I managed to reach that lofty goal. That's just the thing with parenting. You never know what will inspire your children and what's essentially just a waste of your time and effort. In the end the best I think I can do is to just keep exposing them to the things I think are worth pursuing and hope some of it sticks with them.

Here are a few of the pictures I shared with the kids with the subtitles indicating the comments to go with them:

I run because I am not very good at other sports.

I will visit the classroom one more time to actually take the children for a run or hike. Maybe that'll inspire a few more of them to choose spending time in nature over spending time in front of the TV or with other electronics.

And if all of this doesn't get them on board maybe the fact that burping and snot rockets are perfectly acceptable during trail runs will. You just never know.